It’s that time of year again

It’s that time of year again

Every year, countless children of all ages wait patiently for fall colors and the chill on the air to signal the arrival of one of the most special holidays on the calendar. People who love this holiday associate it with cackling laughs, haunted moans, foreboding bumps on tightly shut doors and October 31.

I speak, of course, of National Knock Knock Joke Day!

In honor of this most well-loved of holidays, we present these knock knock jokes that we think you’ll find a-door-able.

 

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Theodore.

Theodore who?

Theodore wasn’t open, so I knocked.

 

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

A broken pencil.

A broken pencil who?

Never mind. It’s pointless.

 

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Earl.

Earl who?

Earl be glad to tell you when you open the door.

 

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

To.

To who?

No, it’s “To WHOM.” “Whom.”

 

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Howl.

Howl who?

Howl you know unless you open the door?

 

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Hatch.

Hatch who?

Gesundheit!

 

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Hanna.

Hanna who?

Hanna partridge in a pear tree.

 

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Amos.

Amos who?

A mosquito.

 

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Interrupting cow.

Interru-

[interrupting] MOOOO!!!

 

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Interrupting owl.

Interru-

[interrupting] HOOOO!!!

 

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Interrupting starfish.

Interru-

[Quickly put your wide open hand over their face.]

 

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Boo.

Boo who?

You’re crying?! Oh, calm down. The joke wasn’t that bad.

 

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Phillip.

Phillip who?

Phillip the bag with Halloween candy. You know the drill.

 

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Cows go.

Cows go who?

No, no. Cows go “MOO.”

 

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Little old lady.

Little old lady who?

Okay! All right! I get it! You can yodel.

 

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Doris.

Doris who?

Doris locked. That’s why I’m knocking.

 

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Short-term memory loss.

Short-term memory loss who?

Knock knock.

[repeat indefinitely]

 

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Goat.

Goat who?

Goat to the door to see who it is already!

 

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

The doctor.

The doctor who?

Actually, I think he’s just called “The Doctor.”

 

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Datsun.

Datsun who?

Datsun old joke. Do you know any newer ones?

 

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Alto.

Alto who?

Alto your car if you don’t move it.

 

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Dewey.

Dewey who?

Dewey have to keep telling knock knock jokes? Yes. Yes, we do.

 

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Hawaii.

Hawaii who?

I’m fine. Hawaii you?

 

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

[say quickly, all at once] Control Freak. Now you say, “Control Freak who?”

 

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Dozen.

Dozen who?

Dozen anyone recognize my voice? Let me in!

 

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Ho-ho.

Ho-ho who?

Ehhh…I’ve heard better Santa impressions.

 

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Toby.

Toby who?

Toby or not to be – that is the question.

 

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Freedom.

Freedom who?

Hey, there are no knock knock jokes about freedom, man. Because freedom rings.

 

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Xavier.

Xavier who?

Xavier breath and open that door!

 

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Ice Cream.

Ice cream who?

Ice cream every time I see a ghost!

 

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

The man.

The man who?

The man who invented the knock knock joke deserves a “NO-BELL” prize.

 

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Orange.

Orange who?

Orange you glad we didn’t use the ‘orange and banana’ joke today?

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